Thursday, 12 March 2015

The Battle At The Farm (On Tatooine)

I was thinking of subtitling this post - Dedicated to Our Wonderful Wives Who Indulge Their Husbands' Private Weirds.

  Earlier today I joined my darling wife out in the backyard.  "Oh Boy," she said excitedly, "you're coming to help with the gardening?" 

   "No," says I, "I was planning on re-playing The Battle Of Farm Scenario from Rogue Trader with vintage Star Wars action figures!"


And she smiled. 


On a doubly sunny day on Tatooine, a young farm-boy decides it is time to leave his run-down farm and journey out into the galaxy in search of adventure.

"Nothing ever happens around here," he whines as he zooms off on his cool land-speeder.

It was a good thing too, because in a matter of minutes a group of tired Imperial Marines enters the farmyard. 

"Let us rest a bit in this farmhouse," rasps Marine Commander Lord Pedro Vader.

   "Sir?," requests Brother Marine Hoth, "May I have the honour of the first watch?"

   "Yes," says Brother Boba, "Me too."

   "And me too," adds Sister Leia.

"No, dear comrades," says Lord Pedro, "you have done enough for today.  Go get some rest and let me call a couple of Stormtroopers for Sentry duty."

As soon as everyone is tucked in, a sentry raises the alarm!



The Ork attack begins as one massive charge.

Casualities are heavy, but so is their leader.

Lord Pedro hops up on the farmyard wall and orders Brother Boba to fire his missile.

(The obligatory blast shot.)

The blast is horrible!

But this only renews the Orken determination!

Plus, a surprise random appearance of some Tusken Raiders helps in the attack....                           

Meanwhile, Lord Pedro and Jabba The Thrugg battle it out.  They are each down to one wound...

...when the rains come!  And it rains (as everyone knows) very hard on Tatooine!

Lucky a Hero arrives...

...and whisks a happily dazed Sister Leia away.

No one else is left standing.

P.S.  -   Thanks to Zhu for this!


  1. Oh yes, now we're talking! Not sure what I like best, the sudden intrusion of a large paper blast template, the rescue of Leia by Han Solo on a Tauntaun, the genius of using Boba Fett as a missile launcher, or just the whole Star Wars / 40k / Garden Wargaming mashup. Think the terrain placement is pretty much as I envision it for the scenario as well (the hill and farm buildings being quite close). Hurrah!

    1. Hi Zhu,

      Thanks for your nice comment and thanks again for the inspiration for doing this whole battle and post - it was a lot of fun (and really any and every excuse/reason to get out and play with the Star Wars toys is a good one). And I'm glad you liked the Mash-ups, it had me chuckling although I did get into a bit of a confrontation with Darth, seems he was quite resistant to playing someone called Lord Pedro! Oh these Prima Donna Dark Star types! As for the terrain, thanks for noticing! I actually spent a lot of time setting it up and then tearing it down and starting again (even had to borrow the shovel my wife was using to dig up rocks in the other side of the garden!) Cheers, Zhu!

  2. Great old figures and lovingly maintained as well. I cringe a little seeing the priceless Gadderffi sticks and Leia's tiny hold out pistol out there in the garden...lost so many of them as a kid...
    Very fun post.

    1. Hey, Hey Mouse!!! I just read the wonderful news on your blog! Great to have you back home and super to hear of your little one - pretty soon you'll be out in the garden playing Star Wars again too!! And thanks for the comment and the concern about the weapons! I'm pretty anal about losing them. After I brought all the figs inside I noticed one of the GI Joe weapons that I was using for the Orks/Gamorreans was missing, so I ran outside with a flashlight in the rain churning through the dirt until I found it! Whew! Anyway, look forward to our Star Wars game sometime if you would still like to play (and also if you will have time now that you are a new Dad!)

  3. I can't tell you how happy this post made me.
    For some reason that I can't really explain, my 2 favourite parts are "Lord Pedro Vader" and the sudden appearance of the blast templates straight from the back of the Rogue Trader book.

    You are also correct that the wives of wargamers are Very Special Ladies.

    Next, please re-enact Forenrond's Last Stand with Micronauts.

    1. Hi Matthew,

      Oh yeah, Forenrond's Last Stand with Mirconauts!! Man, that would be so great!! I've got to get some micronauts onto this blog. Sometime. I love Micronauts! But as for Forenrond's Last Stand, I did have a passing flash of playing it with Britains one day. Maybe in the summer once I get a sand table set up outside again. Anyway, thanks for the comment and I'm glad the post made you happy!

  4. Only just caught this. You have brought a giant smile to a bored man at work. Unfortunately you may have awoken a need to collect more old star wars toys. Bad you.

    1. Thanks Erny, it made me smile hearing that my post brought you a smile! And nothing wrong with collecting star wars toys - it helps to keep the citadel figs from getting lonely!